Your "To Don't" List

Good news - you’ve decided to be an actor! You’ve started an independent business where your art is your product and you are your art. You’re living the dream and making things happen, weathering the ups and downs with optimism and drive. Your motto is “YES I CAN” and you wear it proudly.

Never mind the uncertainty of the business. Never mind the exhaustion of pounding the pavement. You’ve got your to-do list and you’re going to stay motivated to the very end. Right?

But there’s something missing. Because there’s one little word that needs to be present in your career in order for you to get everything you want.

That word is NO.

In our quest for optimism we forget that it’s important to say no to things that are harmful to our spirit. We’re convinced that until we have the career we want, we have to say yes to everything. So I’m here to encourage you to learn how to say NO by creating your very own “TO DON’T” list.

Everyone’s TO DON’T list should be individualized to address the concerns in your particular business. In other words, no two people will have a TO DON’T list that’s the same. I highly recommend writing it in the 1st person so that it feels personal and immediate. To get you started, here are some of my favorite TO DON’Ts that make a huge difference in my career.


Don’t...

Be too hard on myself.
Compare myself to others.
Forget to do at least one thing for my business each day.
Ignore self-care.
Let someone else define my type for me.
Let someone else define success for me.


Don’t...

Say yes to everything.
Worry about what others think.
Compromise myself.
Underestimate myself.
Take on projects that I know won’t be good for me.
Let anyone else define my worth.


Once your list is written, put it somewhere visible and read it every day before you start your workload. When you have a tough decision to make, look at the list and see if either choice falls on it. Remember that the list can grow and change as your career grows and changes. I’d suggest revisiting the list twice a year to see if there’s anything to add or take away.

I’m curious to hear what items you would add to your TO DON’T list. Leave a comment here and let me know what TO DON’Ts you’re taking on for your career, and then check back in and give me an update!


Did you like this advice? Great news! I’ve debuted my brand new DIY Course “Mastering the Art of Relationships” which includes video and worksheets designed to help you dive deeply into your communications to make networking easy, painless, and fun. Sign up for the course here: courses.theactorsenterprise.org


Have a comment or question? Leave it by clicking below!

Erin Cronican’s career as a professional actor and career coach has spanned the last 25 years in New York City, Los Angeles and San Diego. She has appeared in major feature films and on television, and has done national tours of plays and musicals. She has worked in the advertising & marketing departments of major corporations, film production companies, theater magazines, and non-profit acting organizations. She is the Founder/Coach of The Actors’ Enterprise, co-founder and Managing Director of The Seeing Place Theater, and writes an “Experts” column for Backstage. To learn more, check out www.TheActorsEnterprise.org and find her on Twitter @ErinCronican.

The Allure of Being "Busy"

I’ve started to notice something recently.

Every time I see friends of mine, I ask them how they’re doing and they always say with an exasperated sigh, “Agh. I’m sooooo busy” or “You know, I’m just going and going and going, never time to rest!” or “Ugh. I’m exhausted. So much to do.” It’s often said with an equal mix of angst and also a little pride, so happy to be able to report that things are happening but being overwhelmed by what it's taking to get there.

I’ve been a guilty of this too. I mean, it’s harmless, right?

The short answer is no, as evidenced by a situation one of my students went through recently.

This actor was a part of several developmental readings of a film, creating great relationships with the producing team in the process. Each time the actor spoke to them he excitedly talked about all of the projects he’s been a part of and how busy he’d been, hoping they would see how in demand he was and that he was a viable, working actor.

He finally saw a breakdown come out for the filming of the project, and noticed that the role he had read was pre-cast...with someone else. Hurt and embarrassed, my student reached out to the filmmaker to find out what happened and why he hadn’t been contacted about the role. The filmmaker apologized profusely, and then said - “With everything that you’re involved with, I assumed you were too busy.”

RECORD SCRATCH

Yep. My student lost an opportunity because he had made it seem like he was too overloaded to take on more work.

This really made me think - how often have I done the exact same thing, unburdening myself with “busy-ness” when someone asks how I’m doing? So I started an experiment. For one week I tracked how often people asked me how I was doing, and how often I felt the need to say, “I’m really busy,” as a response.

Interestingly, I felt myself wanting to say, “I’m so busy” almost all of the time. But I noticed something even more interesting. The conversation stopped there. Very few people asked, “What’s making you busy?” It’s almost as though “I’m so busy” is a back-off answer - something we say when we don’t want to talk about what’s really going on.

Let me say that another way.

Much like we reflexively say, “Fine” when someone asks “How are you?”, we may say, “I’m so busy” as a reflex that encourages people to back off. The conversation never moves on from there - no further inquiries about what we’re up to or what it was like to be so busy. Saying, “I’m busy,” is a roadblock to real conversation.

So I took my experiment to the next level. Whenever I was asked what I was up to, rather than saying, "I'm busy" I chose one thing I was really excited about and shared that instead. I also banished any talk of “busy-ness” from my social media pages.

It was magical.

By being so open and focused on what inspired me, I no longer needed to share my anxiety. Instead I got to make a real connection about something that mattered to me and let another person into my world. And I began to wonder, what would be possible if actors owned what made them busy and saw it as a benefit rather than a curse? Would my student been offered the film role if he had been focused on the quality of the work he was sharing rather than the quantity?

I invite you to try the same experiment - see how many times you’re compelled to say “I’m busy” rather than really engaging with your peers. Catch yourself each time you try to unload your “busy-ness” and see what’s really there for you to share. And let me know how the experiment goes and what you learned. 


Did you like this advice? Great news! I’ve debuted my brand new DIY Course “Mastering the Art of Relationships” which includes video and worksheets designed to help you dive deeply into your communications to make networking easy, painless, and fun. Sign up for the course here: courses.theactorsenterprise.org


Have a comment or question? Leave it by clicking below!

Erin Cronican’s career as a professional actor and career coach has spanned the last 25 years in New York City, Los Angeles and San Diego. She has appeared in major feature films and on television, and has done national tours of plays and musicals. She has worked in the advertising & marketing departments of major corporations, film production companies, theater magazines, and non-profit acting organizations. She is the Founder/Coach of The Actors’ Enterprise, co-founder and Managing Director of The Seeing Place Theater, and writes an “Experts” column for Backstage. To learn more, check out www.TheActorsEnterprise.org and find her on Twitter @ErinCronican.

SaveSave
SaveSave